Marriage is a big decision. It has its pros but it is not for the fainthearted as it demands a commitment of the highest order. It is better to wait for a long time rather than get into it early and discover you made the wrong decision. In this context, the wrong decision could be going through with the engagement and/or wedding at that time or with the wrong person.
Be sure of what you are getting into before you request that your partner gets married to you. This has led many people to ask questions on this subject. One such question is how soon is too soon to propose to your partner. Get the right answer to this question and a few others in this IST Health lifestyle post.
Summary
How Long Should a Couple Date Before Getting Engaged and Married?
The answer to this question will always have a sense of peculiarity as not all dating couples are the same. It is less about the time and more about the relationship’s level of love and commitment.
A couple can date for three months and be ready to take things to the next level. Conversely, another couple can date for one year or even 2 or more years and be far from ready for this huge step. So, time is not the most important thing to consider when you seek to place a proposal ring on your companion’s finger.
That being said, relationship experts have found out how dating for a while and not rushing things is best. The recommended time frame is around one year. This will allow reasonable time for people in relationships to understand their partner’s life and figure out if a future with them is reasonable.
Signs that It is Too Soon to Propose
Spending long enough time in the relationship is not the only factor that determines when proposing feels like the right decision. Given this, here are some telling signs that a proposal or wedding is a bad idea in your relationship:
You Haven’t or Don’t Have Serious Conversations about the Future
Many people are too carried away by the festivities of the wedding that they forget the lifelong commitment that marriage will demand. So, getting married just has to be with the right companion. The right companion means a partner who will be willing to make things work out with you.
One of the few ways to know is to have serious conversations about this. Talk about issues like when you would both like to have children (if you both want to) in your family. Ask questions that center on family finances, external family influence, child discipline, and more.
You can even ask your companion if he/she believes you both should consult a sexologist if there are issues in your sex life. Don’t go ahead asking her/him to marry you until you have asked and gotten reasonable answers to these questions and more.
You Have Not Had Serious Fallout with Each Other
You both may be compatible, but there is nothing like complete compatibility. If you feel like you both get along a hundred percent; then it is because you, your companion, or both of you are not being completely honest with each other.
It happens a lot in the initial dating stages as people do not complain about things that they usually would complain about. The point is that you need to have (at least one) serious fallout. This is to understand how you both respond to your differences and if a future with that person does feel reasonable in light of that.
Not Convinced that Your Partner Loves or that You Love Your Partner
People get into relationships for several reasons. For example, some do so out of pity for their companion or as a form of gratitude for something they had done a while ago. However, love should be the foremost reason for being in a relationship and deciding to marry that person.
This is why proposing is not right if you don’t love your partner well enough or there are signs that your companion doesn’t feel this way towards you.
Lack of Trust
Love is fundamental, but it is not enough. Breach of trust and distrust can destroy what love has built in a relationship. So, you need to be certain that you trust your companion and that it is reciprocated. If you feel like your partner is hiding something or you are, then proposing is not the best thing to do.
You Don’t Communicate and Make Compromises Well Enough
Problems with communication and making compromises are among the common reasons for failed relationships and marriages. You and your partner need to communicate well to make progress. Good communication includes understanding how to pass across the message and when to do so.
Compromise is also important as you both would not have similar views and expectations. These two are very important and you should not request that someone get married to you until you are certain you both are good at communicating and making compromises.
Other posts on this website can be read to keep you well-informed. For example, you can read this lifestyle-related article to find out how a black man can find a competent therapist.